★ ★ ★ OFFICIAL POLLY'SVILLE TOWN WEBSITE ★ ★ ★
POLLY'SVILLE
🌟 The Friendliest Town You'll Never Want to Leave! 🌟
VISITORS: 000,847
🌟 WELCOME TO POLLY'SVILLE — WHERE EVERYONE BELONGS! 🌟 | 🚇 SERVICE ALERT: GHILLIE'S SUBWAY IS CLOSED FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS DUE TO AN ONGOING INFRASTRUCTURAL ISSUE. RESIDENTS ARE ASKED TO USE ALTERNATIVE TRANSPORTATION. DO NOT ASK WHAT THE ISSUE IS. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ENTER THE STATION AFTER HOURS. | 🚧 DOWNTOWN TUNNELS CLOSED — DO NOT APPROACH THE TUNNELS — 🚧 | 📅 STAR FESTIVAL: JUNE 14 — DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY UP DURING THE CEREMONY | 🏡 CRIME RATE: 0% (DO NOT VERIFY) | 💬 MAYOR ASHWORTH: "EVERYTHING IS FINE. EVERYTHING HAS ALWAYS BEEN FINE." | 🔔 REMINDER: SOUNDS HEARD AT NIGHT ARE ONLY THE WIND | 🌟 COME STAY FOREVER! 🌟
📅 UPCOMING TOWN EVENTS
| DATE | EVENT | LOCATION | NOTES |
|---|---|---|---|
| June 14 | 🌟 Annual Star Festival | Town Square | Do NOT look directly upward during the ceremony. Enjoy the music. Do not hum along — you will not be able to stop. |
| June 21 | 🍦 Ice Cream Social | Ashworth Park | Free ice cream for all residents. Attendance is mandatory. This is a fun event. You will have fun. |
| July 4 | 🎆 Founder's Day Parade | Main St. | Streets closed 12 AM – 12 AM. Residents are asked to remain indoors with curtains drawn. This is traditional. |
| July 19 | 📚 Library Summer Reading | PV Public Library | Certain sections of the library remain sealed for restoration. The Ashworth Archives are not available to the public. Please do not ask. |
| Aug. 3 | 🎵 Town Band Concert | Bandshell | The song will be played once. You will feel different afterwards. This is entirely normal and expected. |
| Aug. 30 | 🍂 End of Summer Cookout | Mill District Green | Attendees are asked not to dig in the green space. The smell from the ground is seasonal. |
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"A door opened is a door that cannot be closed. Welcome, seeker."
— Polly'sVille Tourism & Retention Council